From the Press box

Nicole Carroll: A one woman mission to make a name in football

Girls know nothing about football

with 7 comments

I’m incensed and enraged. I’ve spat out my morning tea and have almost choked on my toast whilst digesting today’s football news.

I shouldn’t be getting wound up about what I’m going to talk about, because its link with football is almost farcical, but I will continue to wind myself up over it.

This morning I was pointed towards this article at hereisthecity, entitled “Birmingham City Fans usually have big bellies“. If you don’t want to read the drivel, the basic premise for this article is Ivana Takitall is rating all 20 Premier League clubs according to the male fans attractiveness.

The delightful article then goes to rate each clubs fans, with no fact or reasoning flung in. Just 20 paragraphs of made up stuff about the respective male fans of each clubs. One thing I get a whiff of here is the fact she’s probably a Cockney bird or a Cockney wannabe bird, seeing as on the whole she generally gives London clubs male fans the massive thumbs up, for example Fulham, “A Fulham supporter is every girl’s dream. Well off, daft as a brush, and able to go like a train for hours” although she is massively disparaging about Chelsea “In the same way that many Chelsea fans arrived from other clubs without warning, so Chelsea man will often return home after a visit to another man’s wife. Don’t trust him, or at least accept him for what he is – a selfish, flash-harry with a Narcissus complex.”

Just by reading the pieces title, you know she isn’t going to be kind about Birmingham City, who she duly describes as “These men are a little more basic than their Brummie rivals. All those years letching after Karren Brady have take their toll. And so have all the pies and pints. The biggest thing about the average Birmingham City fan is unfortunately usually his belly”. Where is her proof that all Birmingham supporters are pie eating letches? Why doesn’t she provide the stats that show that all Birmingham loving males have big bellies? If anything, I’ve sat with some very nice looking young men at the football!

Even the opening statement is nothing more than obvious, “My research has led me to believe that couples are better off not going to watch matches together’, she continues, ‘As particularly younger men much prefer to watch their teams with their ‘proper’ mates, having a few drinks before and after the game, and stuffing pie and chips like it’s going out of fashion. Arguments can often ensue when a female partner wants to join in the fun. In many way, the perfect partner for the average football fan is one who actually dislikes football – that way, the guys will be free to support their team without any ‘interference’.”

How many people have you seen on a night out who go out as a couple and end up arguing? That is just life. Generally, couples and days out together do not mix. It only takes a snidey comment from one partner in front of the other partners friends to light the blue touch paper and it all goes up.

Saying that though, a football loving bird is sometimes a massive coup for some men. Sometimes, it is quite amusing to let the woman tear apart a friend’s football theory and their only comeback is “she’s a girl, what does she know about football?”.

I know many of you will be banging your heads against the wall right now, telling me I’ve missed the point. This is obviously a tongue in cheek piece, mildly mocking each football club, using small anecdotes about each club to validate the facts in some way. I must have had a sense of humour by pass this morning though, because it just isn’t funny.

Being a girl and writing about football is tough. Horribly tough. If you have an opinion on anything which is traditionally male, the response is usually to get back into the kitchen and have a sandwich, or people view you with massive suspicion. The only way to gain any respect as a female writing about football, in my opinion atleast, is to write about football topics that men want to hear about. On the pitch formations, transfer speculation, history of the club. Those kinds of subjects always go down well. Topics like what Takitall wrote today only add to the argument that girls really know nothing about football.


Written by Nicole Carroll

July 27, 2010 at 10:08 am

7 Responses

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  1. I think these type of articles prove there’s nothing going on at the moment in the transfer window. Well, that is except for all the players the Brum are buying!!! Apart from Alex McLeish and the Mancini muppet no-1 else seems to be willing to spend anything…

    My hope for Villa this season is that we sell the traitor for 30mil and use the money to buy Robbie Keane and Stephen Ireland. Whether they want to come to villa or not is another story…I seriously doubt it..Robbie looks good in pre-season!! Come on KEANO, come to VILLA!!UTV……

    I know it has nothing to do with your article Nicole but who has the fatest fans dosen’t do it for me….Good luck to the BRUM for the season ahead….


    July 27, 2010 at 10:26 am

  2. […] is Nicole’s latest blog. She is NOT very happy, and rightly so. A very passionate article, enjoy. (We have permission to […]

  3. I think you are wrong there Nicole. I don’t care who writes the article as long as it takes me inside the game from the sat or sunday. Good writers are able to make you feel like you’re actually at the game with their writing. They have a way of making you feel like your watching at that moment. You can see every kick of the ball. You can actually smell the burgers ppl are eating at half time..Do you know what i mean….The Irish writer Con Houlihan used to make me feel like i was there when i read his match reports in the Independent! Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not good enuf!!! DO U HEAR ME??? F@ck the begrudgers! If you’re good enuf then you’re good enuf and ppl will see it.


    July 27, 2010 at 10:33 am

  4. I guess i’m wrong in what i said about it not mattering who writes the article…Sorry Nicole, I wasn’t looking at it from ur point of view. I’m gonna check into how many women sports writers there are in English newspapers…..


    July 27, 2010 at 10:38 am

  5. hey
    Have a look at this and tell me what you think from your male point of view. I’d like a genuine reply. It’s my first article.


    July 29, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    • the comment was meant for michael but I’d love it if you could check it out too. 🙂


      July 29, 2010 at 4:53 pm

  6. footieflu

    July 29, 2010 at 4:47 pm

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