From the Press box

Nicole Carroll: A one woman mission to make a name in football

Replica Rubbish – London Style

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It’s another trip to find the worst club shop memorabilia that those club shops are pushing onto the gullible fans who will buy anything with a logo slapped on it.

We’ve moved on from the Midlands, so lets look at what the Premier League’s London clubs have on offer for the fans who need a token of their day out.

Chelsea – Swimming costume

I’m all for more women’s merchandise in club stores, I really am. Nice tshirts, fashionable jackets that can be worn outside of the football stadium – you know the kind of thing. I’m not quite sure what swimming and Chelsea have massively in common though. At least if you strolled into the pub with a Chelsea tshirt, you could discuss John Terry’s performance in the match. What are you meant to do in the pull, stop mid lane for a quick chat?

Arsenal – Women’s Perfume

What intrigues me the most about this, is that on the online megastore, there simply isn’t any description on the perfume. I mean, what does it smell off? Arsene Wengers post match musk? Like a Spanish senorita for the likes of Fabregas? Toilet water? I suppose at £14.99 its cheaper than buying the lady a bottle of Jean Paul Gaultier, and if its rank, she can use it to mop the floor. Job done.

Fulham – Sweets

Simply, these are mint humbugs. Quite conveniently though, Fulham play in the same colour as a mint humbug: MARKETING OPPORTUNITY!! A tasty description that has walked out of Harrods, and the club are looking at £2.99 a pop for something they could get in a large bag from the corner shop for a £1.

West Ham United – Toaster

Do you like your toast burnt? Then why not burn it with your clubs initials on! I know things are pricier in London, but £45? Unless you have that colour scheme in your kitchen, it’s going to stand out as a buy that 1. was daft and 2. you only bought because it had the logo on. You’d of been better off with the value toaster from Argos.

Tottenham Hotspurs – Rubber Duck

It’s a rubber duck in a Spurs shirt. I mean seriously, why would you want it? I don’t know many grown men or women who regularly bathe with a rubber duck, let alone one who’d want one with a replica shirt on.

Funnily enough, all the London clubs sell ducks with shirts on. If anyone can answer my question as to why this happens, you’ll make me a very happy lady.

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Written by Nicole Carroll

March 9, 2010 at 10:00 am

Posted in Premier League

Tagged with , , , ,

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